How to Kill Jealousy in Your Relationships
The Green Eyed monster. Envy. No matter what you call it, jealousy exists, particularly in the Latin culture. We see it all the time in telenovelas. Maria Teresa burns down a barn in the name of love ... and the fact that Jose Alberto made eyes at Maria Isabel. A girlfriend admits to trolling on Facebook after one of her boyfriend's female friends comments on one of his photos.
Well, in case you didn’t know that you shouldn’t take advice on such things from telenovelas, I am here to tell you that arson and stalking is not the answer!
Here's how to put an end to jealousy in a relationship the right way:
Inhale and exhale
When you encounter a situation where you may lose your cool, inhale and exhale deeply. Focus on your breathe until the rumblings of envy dissipate. This is a form of meditation and it can soothe our Latin tempers and bring us to center. Take a page from Buddha and relax.
Get to the root of the jealousy
That means really digging deep and asking yourself, "Why?" There is a reason why you fly off the handle whenever your guy talks to another woman, even the middle aged waitress at the Dominican restaurant. So, think back. When did these feeling start? Did your jealous Mama teach you that this is the way to show love? Did your Papi cheat on your mother constantly? Where do your insecurities come from?
It is said that jealousy stems from insecurity. Ask yourself why you feel threatened. Do you feel unworthy? Do you not feel beautiful? Do you compare yourself to other women? Zone in on the “why" of your jealousy and you’re help yourself find an end to it.
Learn to communicate
Talk calmly to your partner about your feelings of jealousy. This is much healthier than hollering like a maniac. How do we communicate without throwing platos? By breathing deeply, knowing what you feel, and coming from a place of love. There may also be something that is triggering these feelings that neither of you is aware of. If so, talk about it and work towards a compromise.
See the situation differently
Latinas tend to jump to conclusions and sometimes see things that aren't there, especially if the green eyed monster has reared his ugly head. Instead of taking it to the extreme or calling your entourage to plot payback, Oh Jealous One, wait to hear his side of the story.
Here's the bottom line - jealousy isn't an attractive quality. So, be an adult and learn to simmer down. Realize most of your jealousy stems from your issues and that relationships aren't about control or codependency. Jealousy also isn't amor. No matter what Maria Teresa says about why she kidnapped Maria Isabel, love shouldn't hurt or drive us to insanity.