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Wed, 16 Jan 2013 01:46:19 GMT | By Sujeiry Gonzalez

How to Kill Jealousy in Your Relationships

No matter what you call it, jealousy exists, particularly in the Latin culture. Here's how to put an end to it the right way.


Woman looking jealous. Rick Gomez, Getty Images.

The Green Eyed monster. Envy. No matter what you call it, jealousy exists, particularly in the Latin culture. We see it all the time in telenovelas. Maria Teresa burns down a barn in the name of love ... and the fact that Jose Alberto made eyes at Maria Isabel. A girlfriend admits to trolling on Facebook after one of her boyfriend's female friends comments on one of his photos.

Well, in case you didn’t know that you shouldn’t take advice on such things from telenovelas, I am here to tell you that arson and stalking is not the answer!

Here's how to put an end to jealousy in a relationship the right way:

Inhale and exhale

 When you encounter a situation where you may lose your cool, inhale and exhale deeply. Focus on your breathe until the rumblings of envy dissipate. This is a form of meditation and it can soothe our Latin tempers and bring us to center. Take a page from Buddha and relax.

Get to the root of the jealousy

That means really digging deep and asking yourself, "Why?" There is a reason why you fly off the handle whenever your guy talks to another woman, even the middle aged waitress at the Dominican restaurant. So, think back. When did these feeling start? Did your jealous Mama teach you that this is the way to show love? Did your Papi cheat on your mother constantly? Where do your insecurities come from?

It is said that jealousy stems from insecurity. Ask yourself why you feel threatened. Do you feel unworthy? Do you not feel beautiful? Do you compare yourself to other women? Zone in on the “why" of your jealousy and you’re help yourself find an end to it.

Learn to communicate

Talk calmly to your partner about your feelings of jealousy. This is much healthier than hollering like a maniac. How do we communicate without throwing platos? By breathing deeply, knowing what you feel, and coming from a place of love. There may also be something that is triggering these feelings that neither of you is aware of. If so, talk about it and work towards a compromise.

See the situation differently

Latinas tend to jump to conclusions and sometimes see things that aren't there, especially if the green eyed monster has reared his ugly head. Instead of taking it to the extreme or calling your entourage to plot payback, Oh Jealous One, wait to hear his side of the story.

Here's the bottom line - jealousy isn't an attractive quality. So, be an adult and learn to simmer down. Realize most of your jealousy stems from your issues and that relationships aren't about control or codependency. Jealousy also isn't amor. No matter what Maria Teresa says about why she kidnapped Maria Isabel, love shouldn't hurt or drive us to insanity.

2Comments
Jan 23, 2013 10:42PM
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Aye por favor...Jealousy comes from all the cheaters, liars and players we've been raised with our entire lives...starting with childhood! our dad's uncle, grandfathers,brothers, cousins...etc..
Of course it's misplaced anger...but when the man you are with looks at "other women" like he just ordered a" newly cooked pork chop" con unos tortillitas... Por favor gente...si falta respecto!
he deserves a good chingamdrasos! ha ha ha...
So Latinos don't just fly off the handle...many of us were RAISED watching Player MEN our entire lives!
sometimes we need to put men in check..that's all...
Ha ha...if you believe that line...good luck!  I agree jealousy can be very ugly!
Jan 24, 2013 8:09AM
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OH yeah... writer...you started off with envy and never described  it again within of the contents of the article.

Envy and Jealousy are TWO Different ThINGS!!!

One may or may not be part of the issue at hand?
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